Husband, I'll start with you.
I realize that we've only been adults for around 10 years or so, but here are some things you may need to be refreshed on. First, empty things go in the trash can. Second, don't ever tell me again to "Just sleep longer," when Charlotte is awake and crawling all over me in bed. Newsflash, we have a baby. Have a lovely day.
By now I thought you'd notice that nighttime is for sleep. Clearly I am the mistaken one. I'd like to add that I know you hate it, but you must have a diaper on for the majority of the day. Also, your poop stinks. I'd like for you to stop the experimental screaming that could shatter windows. And I hope you haven't noticed that your adorable looks have saved you the stink eye from mommy about ten bajillion times. Oh, and you will be going to Morning Out on Monday, that's for damn sure. By the way, the little dance you're doing right now is helping me forget that you made me want to stick chopsticks in my ears last night.